Ever been to an Indian cinema? If not, here is what you must do upon your Bollywood- viewing adventure. In my process of becoming fully indianized, this is what I have learned from my fellow Bollywood enthusiasts, who sit with me in the cinema:
1) Come 15 minutes late. In this way, while trying to find your seat in the dark, you will block the view to those who came on time. And besides – you will miss all the adverts which are eager to get you to buy a variety of cockroach sprays and pimple creams.
2) While movie is on, make a lot of phone calls and speak on your mobile phone very loudly - in this way we all can enjoy your conversation too.
3) When your favourite heroin comes on the screen – whistle, when the hero is out – wave your dupatta in the air!
4) Argue with your friends at full voice.
5) If you saw the movie already, tell everyone what will happen next.
6) Leave 15 minutes before the movie finishes. Why wait, you figured out the story anyway!
7) If you visit the toilet on the way out, make sure to push in the queue.
8) And besides that – enjoy the movie, the Bollywood glitz!
Wah!
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